Ode for a Name

Clarence House says that Prince might join the Blues and Royals in Iraq.

Confused? Let me decipher: The Prince of Wales, a.k.a. Prince Charles, who lives at Clarence House in London, has announced that his youngest son, Prince Harry, will be joining–after he graduates from military school–the Household Cavalry, a.k.a. the Blues and Royals, and that means he, Harry, might see active duty in Iraq.

Now, wasn’t it easier to say "Clarence House says that Prince might join the Blues and Royals in Iraq?"

It makes me think that I should name my house. After all, if it’s good enough for the White House and lots of homes in the U.K. have names…so why not my home? Particularly if my home will then start speaking!

Think about the possibilities! Maybe my house would speak to me:

• When I enter a room it might say: THIS ROOM HAS REACHED DUST TOLERANCE LEVELS. COMMENCE DUSTING IMMEDIATELY.
• Maybe it would alert me to repair needs: WATER PIPE IN EXTERIOR SOUTHERN WALL IS ABOUT TO FREEZE. PREPARE TO BAIL.
• Helpful hints might be expressed: YOU CAN’T WEAR THAT IN PUBLIC!
• Perhaps it would greet me when I come home: AND JUST WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?

Or, maybe instead of talking to me, it would talk to everyone else about me…

• AT 2:00 P.M. MONDAY, MISSYISMS DITCHED WORK AND TOOK A THREE HOUR NAP.
• MISSYISMS IS, OF COURSE, GREATLY DISTURBED BY THE PALESTINIAN ELECTION NEWS COMING OUT TODAY. (Need to have some reality within the humor.)
• MISSYISMS ENJOYED A DINNER OF ICE CREAM AND CAKE, FOLLOWED BY A SLURPIE KICKER. INDIGESTION FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY.

But, we need a name; something solid, something artful, yet authoritative…after all, it’s going to speak! I have a few ideas. Click the link below for possible names.